This past weekend Olivia turned six and we took Aiden and Owen to their swim meet and they rocked it! I took a bunch of pictures on my new Windows Phone that I am trying out...
|Olivia and I during her birthday lunch.|
Christmas Day is also my birthday and as my birthday present to myself I am going to give myself permission to write again.
I started this blog when I was pregnant with Olivia over 6 years ago... and in that time I managed to get myself a few people who felt the need to analyze everything I wrote and inform me of the various ways I am doing EVERYTHING wrong... and eventually I let that get to me. It got to the point where those voices were already giving me "advice" and "constructive criticism" in my head before I would even start typing so I just stopped writing because I didn't want to hear it. It hurt too much.
|Aiden with awesome hair after his first day of the swim meet.|
Some people are amazingly strong. They are SO SO SO good at handling the criticism of others.
I am not one of those people.
I don't need everyone to like me ( I really really don't, and I am under no illusion that they do)... I just am not super good at having all my faults laid out for me in point form on a daily basis. I find that I am actually fairly aware of how completely imperfect I am without the having others point it out to me.
Many years ago I was on an internship type thing and I had a boss who basically told me all the ways I sucked. I believe that his goal was to spur me on to be a better person and "rise to the challenge". What I actually did was crawl into the fetal position and feel horrible about myself. For years.
|Aiden and Doug on deck at the swim meet.|
I have never claimed to be. One of the many reasons why I would not do well in the army. Or sports. Or anywhere where people yell your faults at you in order to make you stronger and more determined.
|Olivia and I watching the boys swim.|
I just end up crying or yelling and ranting trying not to cry and THEN crying. It is not a pretty picture.
Anyway. The point is I was done putting myself out there for awhile.
|Owen wearing antlers at Montana's during our "You guys did AWESOME" lunch.|
But I have missed writing. And I have missed this space. A lot. Sharing a few pictures a week just isn't the same.
|Aiden drawing a maze on the table paper at Montana's during our celebration lunch.|
So when I got a particularly cruel email last week from a particularly judgemental person I realized that you just can't avoid it! So I might as well put on my big girl panties, deal with it, and just keep writing because I love it. And because the vast majority of you people are wonderful.
|Olivia having fun with her antler's at Montana's during our post-swim meet lunch.|