Friday, May 29, 2009

The musings of a migrained-mind

Pin It A friend of mine pointed out that I have been a bit sparse on the words lately... lots of pictures but not so many words. And she's right. So I shall try to rectify that and since I am certain you all don't have time to read the NOVEL edition I will ATTEMPT to shorten it by using point form... and I'll ad in some pictures of my delightful children to keep you all entertained :)

1. I am consumed with Aiden. How do I help him? What would help him most? How do I keep my younger two children from mimicking his undesirable behaviours? How do I accurately gauge the state of a 7 year old boys' mind? Why does he do some of the things he does? Why is he so completely consumed with fighting/angry games? How do I make sure he understands that it is not HIM but his behaviours that frustrate us? I have dozens of questions and I have done massive amounts of research and found a zillion different suggestions as to what to do but I find I am so exhausted just keeping us all going I have very little left-over energy for trying all the new things. Which then, of course, makes me feel insanely guilty. Pathetic but true.

2. I am so happy spring is finally arriving here. I love love love the sunshine and the green grass and the beginnings of leaves on the trees. Beautiful.

3. Olivia is extremely high-needs right now and I'm just not sure why. It has gotten progressively worse since we moved here 3 months ago and I'm not sure if it is still a reaction to moving or if it is just a two-year old thing. And I'm still trying to figure out how to discipline her without completely breaking her little heart. As soon as I even say NO firmly she bursts into sobs and starts saying "sorry mommy" over and over again. Girls are REALLY different than boys.

4. I am very pleased with the boys' reading progress. I'm so proud of how far they have come in such a short time.

5. My migraines just aren't going away... and in fact they seem to be getting progressively worse and I just don't know what to do. I managed to get an appointment with the local nurse practitioner in about 2 weeks and I am hoping she can help me figure out what is going on.

6. I have completely slacked off in the spiritual teaching realm lately. I am certain my boys know FAR more about Star Wars and Indiana Jones than they do about Jesus and that is just sad. And all my fault. Which makes it even sadder.

7. I watched the season premiere of Jon & Kate plus eight and it just made me feel sad for them. And yes, I know most people can't stand Kate but honestly? If I had 8 kids all younger than my oldest I would be an absolute raving lunatic so I have compassion for the poor woman. And no matter how much help she gets it would still be an awful lot to handle mentally and emotionally. ANYWAY she mentioned that parents of multiples have a much higher divorce rate and I learned that the same is true of parents with special-needs kids.

WHY? Each parent gets so tied up in their kid (or kids) and in how to parent and how to help them and how to keep sane and they forget to realize that dads deal VERY differently with things than moms. That is not bad, it is just different. And if you aren't careful you start to think THEIR way is WRONG. Lots of men process stuff quietly and don't necessarily show how they are processing stuff so the woman assumes he is just NOT dealing with it. Or he is ignoring her or the kids or the needs or the issues or whatever. And women, since many of us process stuff out loud, make the husbands feel like we never quite complaining. They hear our stress and WANT to help but have no idea HOW to help and that makes them feel helpless. And it all gets messed up.

BUT I am so very thankful because I feel like Doug and I have grown increasingly closer through all this Aiden stuff. It is God's doing I am certain and for that I am grateful because I certainly could NOT handle this on my own. And our challenges are minor compared to what other parents have to go through.

8. I mentioned before that our landlord is trying to sell the house we are renting and people looked at it (twice) this past weekend.... we have heard nothing so I can only hope it is going nowhere but it has made me feel unsettled in this house now and I hate that feeling.

9. I am feeling some anger at God lately. Not logically... logically I know better... but emotionally. Why doesn't He help Aiden more? Why does He allow Aiden's asthma to get SO bad SO often? Why does it seem He says NO to my prayers so often?

And yes, I DO know it is all very selfish sounding and terribly theologically incorrect... but no one has EVER accused me of being too logical and unemotional about stuff.

My friend Becky talked on her blog about having some trust issues with God and I can totally relate right now. Logical? No. But there nonetheless.

10. We are having a birthday party bar-b-que for Doug tonight and it will be fun. I have a lot of prep-work to do today (read CLEANING) but I am certain I will enjoy the evening.

And I think that mostly covers the surface areas of my thoughts these days :)

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Celebrating 35 years of DOUG!

Pin It Today is my wonderful husband's 35th birthday and so to honour him I will tell you 35 things you should know about my man...

1. He is a wonderful Daddy and I LOVE that about him!

2. My daughter has him wrapped around her little finger :)
3. He hates mornings. Passionately. He is a night owl and if you try and have any sort of real conversation with him first thing in the morning you should expect it to be forgotten. BUT he has always gotten up with our kids first thing in the morning (most of the time anyway). We decided when Aiden was a newborn that I would get up in the middle of the night (because I am never able to sleep through awake-kids) and he would then get up first thing and let me sleep for an hour or two so I could function. Since one (or more) of my kids STILL get up in the night- every night- he still gets up with the boys at 6 ish am so I can wait to get up until Olivia does. I really appreciate it.
4. He does his very best to understand our son Aiden's special needs and learn to parent him better.
5. He is a tad on the ADD side of things and very rarely does ONE thing at a time. Focus is not his strong point.
6. He is definitely the "fun" parent of the two of us. He really plays with the kids.
7. He is a technology nerd. He loves gadgets and he can figure stuff out lightyears ahead of me.
8. He is very creative.
9. He barely ever gets mad at me. Which is amazing considering how emotional and illogical I am at times.
10. He loves people. He is the most social person I have ever known and it amazes me.
11. He has adjusted HUGE parts of his life and being to fit with me and he really does try to understand me.
12. He is an outdoorsey type fellow but is, unfortunately, allergic to outside. Ok, not ALL of outside... just trees, grass, pollen, and anything else that grows in the great outdoors.
13. He loves camping and really wants to go camping this summer. He is not nearly as afraid of bugs and being cold as I am.
14. He is an amazing cook. MUCH better than I am. So much so that my kids call him a chef. I love that my boys are going to grow up knowing there is nothing wrong with the husband cooking!
15. He has wonderful laugh lines that crinkle around his eyes and show how often he is smiling.
16. He is a naturally positive person and evens out my natural pessimism nicely.
17. He loves to snuggle with the kids. He gives lots of hugs and tells them he loves them all the time. I LOVE that.
18. He takes dozens of pictures of himself making weird expressions while he practices various photography skills. He also does an excellent Jedi pose. I find this fascinating.
19. He has perfected the art of Jedi fighting whilst carrying a baby on your hip. Excellent skill to have in our family.
20. He loves to take the kids swimming.
21. He actually doesn't mind the cold weather and despite the fact that I have significantly more padding than he does he is still never as cold as me.
22. He can eat triple the amount of food I do and yet I am the one to gain all the weight and even though I am definitely NOT the same size that I was 10 years ago when we got married he still calls me beautiful.
23. He never looks uncomfortable or awkward with the kids. Parenthood has always suited him and he adjusted to it pretty smoothly.
24. He has always shared the parenting with me. He has never been one of those "taking care of the kids is the woman's job" men and I so appreciate that.
25. When Aiden was little and I was mired in post partum depression he stood by me through it all. That is amazing.
26. He's not going bald, he just likes keeping his hair short so he doesn't have to actually DO anything with it. And he is making atonement for his unfortunate highschool mullet.
27. He is an excellent pastor because he really DOES care about people.
28. He is significantly more observant about things around him than I am. He notices way more about the scenery or signs on buildings etc. than I ever do.
29. He takes people at face value. He completely believes you when you tell him something. So if you say you are fine he will actually believe you.
30. He is very accepting and non-judgemental. After all, he IS married to me.
31. He loves his camera. He loves to take pictures. It is his hobby and his stress-reliever. And he is really good at it. You can see his photoblog HERE.
32. He is a pretty good teacher too and is slowly teaching me about photography.
33. He remembers WAY more from our bible school classes than I do even though I got significantly higher grades than he did. Go figure.
34. He is a wonderfully steadying influence on me.
35. He loves me and he is all mine :)
Happy birthday honey, I love you!
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