Every time I take Aiden to see the pediatrician we are faced with more decisions about how to handle his Autism/ADHD. Today was no different. For months we have been struggling with decisions about medication for Aiden- what to put him on, what NOT to put him on, how much, when, etc. etc. etc..
The thing is medication pretty much saved my life while I was going through post partum depression and medication again saved my life when my thyroid completely failed. Medication has saved my children's lives numerous times when it comes to their asthma. I am definitely NOT anti-medication.
BUT I don't want to put Aiden on unnecessary meds. He is a great kid and I want to make his life as easy as possible. I want the meds to HELP him, not hurt him. Last year when we put Aiden on medication to control his aggression it changed our whole world for the better. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. We were desperate to find SOMETHING to help Aiden cope. And the medication did that. Beautifully. It didn't change his personality. It didn't turn him into a vegetable. It didn't make him perfect. But it DID make him less angry and less likely to injure himself and others. It completely altered our family life. We could concentrate on having FUN with each other instead of constantly trying to keep Aiden from freaking out and hurting someone.
We have always known that this medication is not a permanent fix. It really shouldn't be taken during puberty because it reduces the testosterone levels and we don't want to really screw the kid up. So basically we have 2, maybe 3 years and then we have to come up with alternatives. Because we can't go back to the way things were. And yes, we are doing non-medication things to help as well and will continue to do those things... but for us those things aren't enough.
Aiden struggles with anxiety and self-esteem issues. He struggles with peer relations. He struggles with authority. He struggles with focus. He just plain struggles. More than any kid should EVER have to struggle. It's just not right.
The pediatrician wants us to try a different med. It has been suggested to me numerous times over the past several months... but it is a hard decision for me. It really is. We had a terrible experience with one med for Aiden and I am fearful of a repeat. I wonder how much medication one little body can handle. But I also know that if this med DID work it would make his life significantly easier.
And so we think and pray and research and pray some more. This making decisions thing is hard... especially when it affects my first born boy.
Feel free to pray we make the right decision. :)
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