Thursday, July 09, 2009
I hate mosquitoes.
I passionately hate mosquitoes.
I do NOT understand why God feels compelled to allow this abominable species to continue.
I especially do not like lying in bed minding my own business trying to sleep at 5 am and waking up to the sound of a loathsome evil monstrosity buzzing around my head.
And WORSE waking up to the sound of a heinous swarm of offensive hideous blood-sucking beasts buzzing around my head.
And yet this is EXACTLY what happened to me this morning at 5:12 am. The ghastly creatures were having a veritable feast on my poor arms and legs. I leapt forth from my bed and went in search of the bug repellent and fly swatter. I found the bug repellent on the deck (of course it had to be outside because I LOVE going outside in my nightwear) and I never did find the fly swatter so I made due with a slipper.
For the next half hour I smacked, bashed, squashed and gleefully maimed mosquitoes and sprayed repellent at their despicable faces. I then proceeded to stuff cotton balls in the cracks between our window air conditioner and the window frame. I can only assume that is where the barbarians have been skulking in to my no-bugs-allowed haven.
At 5:47 am I laid back down to the blissful sound of silence and the sight of smashed bugs on my walls and the scent of bug spray. And I slept.
Why can't Mosquitoes go extinct instead of lovely creatures like whales? I LIKE whales. I do NOT like Mosquitoes. A whale has never bothered me. Mosquitoes bother EVERYONE. There is just no point to their existence. I am certain the frogs could find some other annoying bug to eat.
And I would just like to say I am thankful for the Benadryl Itch Relief stick as it soothes my dozens of mosquito bites.