Tuesday, April 29, 2008

What I Know Now

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What I know now that I am a mommy:

1. I really can survive on very little sleep over an extended period of time
2. I really can love 3 children equally
3. there is nothing I wouldn't do to save my child
4. my heart can break at my children's pain
5. is no worse sound than that of my child struggling to breath
6. there is no better sound than that of my children laughing
7. dandelions from my sons can mean more to me than an expensive gift
8. I can survive natural child birth
9. I prefer epidurals
10. I have the best kids in the whole universe
11. I am so very thankful for a devoted husband to partner with me in parenting
12. I will never know all I feel like I should know to be a good mom
13. it is amazing to me that God loves me like I love my kids.
14. children really ARE a gift from God even when they drive me crazy
15. I am proud to be Aiden, Owen and Olivia's mommy.

Nothing has changed my life more than having my children. Nothing has brought me more joy, more satisfaction, more stress, more angst, more pain, more happiness than my kids.

Even though I didn't know this was how my life would be I wouldn't change it for the world and I thank God every day for the gift of my children.


Pin It where do I begin?

My mom moved into our house yesterday. Mostly. There is still a bunch of stuff that we need to get from her place but her bed is here now so this is officially where she lives.

My boys were so excited that they woke up at 5 am this morning and went downstairs to my mom's space and woke her up. Lucky Grandma.

We also had a meeting at the school about Aiden's assessment yesterday. Basically we figured out that he doesn't fit nicely into any handy category. We know it isn't ADD and it isn't Autism. Aiden definitely has sensory issues. Our wonderful friend and Occupational therapist Jon graciously offered to come to the meeting and share his wisdom. Yay! He thinks something called Apraxia might be something Aiden is dealing with. I'll have to research it and get back to you about what that means! But basically it means he has trouble sequencing and transitioning and such. It was a helpful meeting.

But exhausting at the same time.

Part of me just wants someone to say "Aiden has issue xyz and here is a pill to cure it". The knowledge that this will be something my son will be dealing with FOREVER is sad to me.

The assessment team are referring us to our family doctor for a full physical for Aiden, an assessment by a wonderful Speech therapist who also happens to know Aiden personally, and they are going to set it up so that I can go into his classroom at some point and observe. We also might put a video camera up for a couple hours so I can see how he is without me there!

They are also going to teach me how to integrate the schedule systems and communication systems they use at school at home so that there is more continuity for Aiden, thereby causing him less stress to transition from home to school and back again.
Schedules are not my strong point so I am a little nervous about it. But I think it will be good for everyone in the long run.

AND my sweet boy turns 6 tomorrow. I can't believe I have a 6 year old. Wow. And what a six years it has been... this child has changed my entire world completely and in the process changed me. I'm a mom now. And for me that means I am a whole other person than the one I was before my sweet Aiden came into my life!

Sunday, April 27, 2008


Pin It My boys brought me the first flowers of spring!

Dandelions have never looked so lovely.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

no more snow please!

Pin It Yesterday the kids and I got to play outside for awhile! It was cold but bearable. We got super cool splash pants in the mail from my mother-in-law (who can sew anything I am sure).Pink for sweet Olivia.
Red for my Owen- he LOVES red.

My mother-in-law made him that red sweater too :)
And blue for my Aiden.
Actually, my mother-in-law made THAT sweater too!
I told you she could make anything!

Even daddy was able to be out with us for a few minutes before work. And then we woke up to this...

Bah. Snow.

Friday, April 25, 2008

I have a cute daughter

Pin It Olivia absolutely adores this Frog (Tad). It sings and talks and she loves it.
She insists on carrying it around with her all over the house which is so funny because it is almost as big as she is!
She also loves her toes.

Can you imagine sitting at the dinner table like that?

I went to my doctor's appointment this morning. My doctor decided to change my meds. She is going to wean me off the Paxil (anti-depressant) because she thinks it is causing me to have low energy and gain weight. She also gave me a months worth of some other mood stabilizer to help with the transition. We'll see how it goes.

My doctor was awesome today. She totally listened to me and my concerns, she spent time explaining everything to me, she looked me right in the eye when she was talking to me, and she told me that losing weight would not be as hard once I am completely done the paxil.

My weight has been really bothering me. I weigh a full 20 pounds more today than I have ever weighed in my entire life. Ever. Including when I was 9 months pregnant with Olivia.

I have learned that it is exceedingly difficult to live life with this much extra weight on me. Everything is harder. Climbing stairs. Stepping over the baby gate. Dancing with my kids. Playing with my kids. Changing the sheets on the top bunk of the boys bunk beds.

And the stupid thing is that no matter how much I eat I always feel hungry. Apparently this is also a symptom of the paxil but it is not cool. I don't have enough self control to always be hungry and not overeat.

I truly hope and pray that my moods don't do a nosedive though.

She also encouraged me to wean Olivia. She thinks that breastfeeding is sapping my energy as well. Plus my thyroid is still on the wacky side. Basically she said that once I am done breastfeeding my hormones will level out a little more and we can figure out the right doses of meds for my thyroid and depression issues.

She said to wean slowly and she gave me a month's supply of birth control pills to help my milk dry up (I have an abundant supply!).

I'm a little sad to stop nursing. I love nursing. I really do. I love the closeness I have with Olivia because of it. I missed out on that with my boys and I have really cherished this experience.

But I am truly sick of gaining weight every week and being completely exhausted all the time. And of taking medications that make me feel worse. And I am very sick of my headaches. When I am nursing it really restricts what I can and can't take, both for my depression and for my migraines.

I have prayed long and hard that God would help me, AND Olivia, be ready to quit nursing when the time is right and I think I am coming to that.

But it is still hard.

It feels like I will be giving up the closeness with Olivia but I know in my head that doesn't have to be the case.

Anyway, we'll see how it goes!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Raspberry Seeds

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Raspberry seeds annoy me.

I made a perfectly good smoothie with all sorts of yummy frozen fruit in it to fortify me for my marathon of bloggy giveaway entering.

I sat down at my computer.

I took a long sip of my fresh smoothie.

And got a whole bunch of icky raspberry seeds on my tongue.

I HATE that.

The really tragic part is that I absolutely ADORE the taste of raspberries.

Stupid seeds.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Where is spring?

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Happy Earth Day!

Pin It A dear friend of mine (love to you Ginny on the Coast!)told me about this fabulous video and I would really like to share it with you all in honour of Earth Day today. It is called The Story of Stuff. Each video here is one part of the whole story and a few minutes long. All together it takes about 20 minutes but honestly it is worth the view!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

The birds have returned

Pin It The birds have returned and I am so pleased! This lovely robin was hanging out in our yard today and it made me smile just to see him!

Despite the fact that it snowed...

It wasn't very much (so far) and it all melted during the day. YAY!

We all had a pretty good day today. Owen drew me a very cute picture on his chalkboard.

It is a picture of him and I and "hearts for love because we love each other". He was so very sweet today. He was also very proud of his ninja turtle jammies.

Grandma spent some time reading stories to the kids. All three of them compete for her attention and get rather jealous when she pays attention to someone other than themselves.

Aiden was glad that daddy was home to play Lego with today. And he looks cute even with food on his face.

This is Owen saying "hands up" to me.

And here is Olivia modelling her third pair of baby legs...

But she had to change several times today because she kept dumping her food all over herself.

Today was a good day. But it looks like it is going to snow more... boo. I can't wait until it is definitely spring and we can play outside all day long.

Good Morning to you

Pin It Good morning world.

Here I am in all my 6 am glory!

It snowed here. I hate that. And the forecast says it will snow more. That displeases me. But I am in remarkably good spirits all things considered.

I am working valiantly to wean Olivia. It really is not going very well.

Well, I suppose it is going ok. Just slow. She wanted to nurse every 2 hours or so through the night so I was up an awful lot singing and rocking and what not to get her back to sleep without nursing. And I totally gave up at around 3am. I just laid down beside her and let her nurse the rest of the night. Oh well. I do have two other children to look after so its not like I can be completely incoherent. Plus Doug was at work until the wee hours of the morning so he couldn't help.

I'll just keep working at it. I know it will happen.

I am basically following the "no cry Sleep Solution" method. Mostly. But she definitely DOES cry. So I guess I have a bit of the Supernanny method thrown in there for good measure!

My mom is coming over today to help me get the basement ready for her to move in. Hopefully we get TONS done. She moves in 11 days.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Art by Owen

Pin It My sweet son Owen made these for me...He wrote ALL of our names ALL BY HIMSELF! He is only four you know and I am very proud.

Then he drew this picture of the five of us...
Daddy is the tall skinny one, Owen is the one with the huge eyes, Olivia is the one that looks like a martian with three eyes and four legs, I'm the one with the pony tail and Aiden is the one that is only "sort of smiling".

Owen is such a sweet heart. He is always telling me he loves me and giving me presents. Today he told me he would buy me flowers because he loves me. Sigh. What a great kid.

And you can all remind me how great he is when he throws his next tantrum ok? Because wow, he has a BRUTAL stubborn streak.

This morning I took Owen to school.

We got there and the place was completely empty.

There was no school today.


Owen said "Why did we come to school on the wrong day mom?" and I said "because I got confused honey" and he said "that's ok mommy. I love you."

What a great kid.

Aiden and Blogger: A Conspiracy

Pin It For some unknown reason blogger will only let me put pictures of Aiden up today. Not any of my other kids. Apparently blogger feels that I have not had enough Aiden time on this blog.

Aiden loves to be the center of attention so I am sure he has been conspiring with blogger.

I think a lot of things are conspiring against me these days. For example it is supposed to SNOW here again this weekend. I hate snow. I am done with snow. I want SPRING. It's just wrong.

I have been trying desperately to wean Olivia and it is NOT going well. In fact the more I try to wean her the more insistent she is on breast feeding CONSTANTLY. So finally this afternoon I took the plunge into letting her cry it out a bit. I nursed her and then put her in her crib. She freaked. I sang to her. She cried. I patted her back. She sobbed. I picked her up after awhile to calm her down and make sure she knew I still loved her then I put her back in her bed. She freaked again. And so on and so forth. She finally went to sleep after a full hour of fun.

But something has to be done. Last night she wanted to nurse ALL NIGHT LONG! This is not ok with me. I am depressed enough without adding total full on sleep deprivation to the picture. And hey, I'm not expecting to sleep through the night or anything crazy like that. I just want a few hours in a row.

Olivia just woke up and she is SO mad at me. Ouch.

Thursday, April 17, 2008


Pin It For some unknown reason blogger won't let me add any more pictures today... which is very annoying since I took loads of pictures of us playing outside. OUTSIDE!!!! Spring really is coming. Olivia had fun testing her bare toes against the grass. And I just love those baby legs!

I'll try and put some more pictures up later.

Don't forget to enter to win a beautiful bracelet HERE and a new book HERE.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Olivia's Baby Legs

Pin It I won a gift certificate to Apples 'n Oranges from Lara and Vicky. I got an adorable skirt for Olivia.

It can be worn as a little dress when she is small and a skirt when she is bigger and a shirt when she is even bigger! It is also fully reversible.

You all should go and check out Apples 'n Oranges. They have wonderful stuff and they are Canadian too!

I also won a set of 3 Baby Legs.

I LOVE Baby Legs! Thanks so much to Mommies United for the super fun prize!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Outside My Front Door

Pin It I was tagged by Dlyn to do the Front Door Back Door Meme.

It is a photography meme.
1. Step out your front door and take a picture.
2. Step out your back door and take a picture.
3. Put them on your blog, along with the rules.
4. If there are things in the photos that you particularly like or dislike, you can point them out, or just explain what we are seeing. Maybe changes over the seasons or some junk in your neighbour's yard that drives you nuts.
5. Tag as many or few people as you like - preferably at least one though.
6. Do it again next month if you like.

Okey dokey
So here is the view directly out my front door:

That is my mom's car on the street. And the Christmas lights we haven't take off the lattice work yet. And the pile of snow that is still not melted.

Those are my two sons riding their bikes on our driveway. Our deck is not in very good shape and will need work soon so we don't start falling through it.

And here is the view directly out my back door... which is actually more like a side door.

Not too exciting is it.

But if you turn to the side you can see our back yard. I love our yard. The garden is on the left of the sidewalk. There is a shed and greenhouse at the end of the sidewalk. There is also a nice deck in the back corner of the yard. My husband got our barbeque out too! We have raspberry bushes at the back of the garden. My cat chases a lot of birds by our deck. It is a good yard.

It will be even better once the grass is green!

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