jiggly mommy

So most of you know that I am more than just a little bit unhappy with my present weight. It is just not cool. I know that my screwed up thyroid and the antidepressants don't help but my MAIN problem is that I am an emotional eater and I refuse to exercise with people around. Refuse. Don't try to convince me to do it because it won't work.

Have you ever tried to quit emotional eating when you are completely stressed out? It is hard. Trust me. And I am failing at it spectacularly.

And have you ever tried to follow any sort of normal exercise regime when you are CONSTANTLY surrounded by people? And yes, my kids DO TOO count. The last time I tried to exercise with them in the room I had this conversation...

Aiden: what are you doing mom?
Me: exercising
Aiden: why?
Me: because it is the healthy thing to do and I want to lose weight.
Aiden: because you are so fat?
Me: yep
Owen: fat hahahaha your fat mom hahahahaha
Aiden: hahahah mom's fat mom's fat hahahahahaha
Owen: you're the biggest one in our whole family mom
Me: ya, I know. why don't you guys go play outside or in the street or something (ok, I didn't really say that last part but I totally thought it)
Aiden: mom your bum is all jiggly like Santa Claus' belly
Owen: Santa's fat belly is jiggly like mom's bum hahahahahaha
Me: ok seriously you guys need to go away
Olivia: waawaaawaaawaaa
Me: you guys woke your sister up with all that making fun of mommy, that's just not nice.
Aiden: hahahahahahahaha
Owen:hahahahahahahahaha
Me: go away guys. now.

Turn off dvd. Exit room. Resist urge to cry. Remind myself they are just children and don't deserve to be throttled.

So ya, I'm not doing that again.

The point is things on the weight loss front are NOT going well.

I'm going to go eat some ice cream and go to sleep. Bye.

Comments

the Doug said…
I love you.
Scribbit said…
"jiggly mommy" cracked me up. I'm thinking about my own thighs . . .
Amanda said…
Hey I hear you. My kids are just little so they are not pointing out my bad areas, but it is near impossible to get exercise in. I am thinking about getting up early like Amanda does to get the exercise in. Right now I try and throw Kyla in a stroller and take Ethan for a walk. Slow going usually but I still think at least I am doing something.
Amanda Daybyday said…
Tara...I'm sorry...but that was hilarious. I laughed so hard. I still don't like exercising around other people - including my kids. So, I get it. And I've been called fat my fair share of times by my son too. You'll get there. You will.
Anonymous said…
I resist exercise, no time, too boring, somehow tortures the mind. So I restart again and again by walking around the block, even if with a little one at an exploring pace.

I figure deep breathing is also a start, clears the mind, sinplifies priorities, returns me to me.

But DANCING, now that is different, always FUN, and the younger the child, the more they like jumping.

Which raises the issue of jiggles in the chest area, not comfortable. I have just read somewhere on the internet about sports bras - there is a cup kind, which is best, and is not sporty, or wear 2 that squish. The story is that the first was made of 2 men's athletic supports sewn together. Necessity if the mother of invention.

I find that I just don't do cardio without support and I'm not that big.

I have been "collecting" tips instead of doing, probably fooling myself that I am on the way to doing, but someone said that INTENTION is the first step - so congratulatins on intention and going way beyond.

If there are stretches that can be done secretly at work, there must be little bitsto sneak in here and there for cardio, strength, balance, stretches.

If the boys are doing "manly" dance, like pretend break dancing, mayby they won't notice slipping into the jiggly session.

Young ones like the game of "freeze" to dance music, where someone stops it or turns the volume down. That may help take the focus off the why of activity. They could take turns handling the control to make you stop and start - gives them power, another distraction.

I wish fat oppression would stop, as TV is showing more and more how constant it is. Thanks for sharing with us the whole script. Our loved ones may want us to heal our old hurts, but sometimes the massive accack is not easy to make use of.

I do not know much about insulin resistance, but that seems to be the new direction of thinking.

Oh that ice cream. At my worst, I could eat a very very large bowl of popcorn rationalizing that it was grains, until too much skin lodged in my gums.

I guess we have to share our horror stories to laugh and learn.

Tara, this is why I do not comment on your blog more often - I am only wordy and verging on the dreaded advice.
Shine on. G. on the coast
Amy said…
I have had very similar conversations with my girls! I'm not on medications and it is still hard - emotional eating is so comforting! I've been chewing gum a lot lately. . .
Anonymous said…
Hey Tara The person inside is the
person that God made The person on
the outside is the person the world
sees.God loves you Doug loves you
your kids love you Patricia loves
you and me too

Hang in there.

Dave TV
The Presceskys said…
Dude, ditch the exercising and work on one thing at a time. That's my 2 bits. If I were actually trying to stop emotional eating AND start exercising all at once, I think I'd kill myself. Baby steps my dear... Like "I will eat one less bite of food today than yesterday..." We didn't gain 70 pounds in one day and its not all coming off in one day. I so totally feel your pain. Glad my son isn't old enough to grasp the idea of calling me fat. Hopefully by the time he is, he won't have to. Guess that gives me about 3 years to get rid of the excess!! :o)
ANyway, just wanted to say hi and that you are not alone....
The Presceskys said…
p.s. you've got a great man there - I say keep him.
:o)
Sarah Zeldman said…
*Ouch* harsh...

But..I'll bet that if you *did* work up the courage to exercise in front your kids again -- after 2 or 3 times -- it would become "normal" and they wouldn't even notice. They'd become proud of you as you lost weight -- and think of the example you'd be setting...

I don't blame you if you don't ever try exercizing in front of your kids again...

Just something to consider.
Yeah, I hope it was Ben and Jerry's and then I hope next time you'll invite me over!
I just received some pictures a friend took while we were on our beach camping trip. Pics of me in a swimsuit. I WON'T be posting those, in fact, I may never step out in daylight again.
I'm hearing you Tara!

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