I just wanted to tell you all that I am just so darn thankful for tea. I love tea. Not only does it taste good but it helps to wake me up. I need that. Especially when my sons get up at 5 am.
My great Aunt Olive (who passed away last week) loved tea. She epitomized the saying "tea granny". So whenever I drink a really tasty cup of tea I think of her. This morning I thought of her being pain-free in heaven. Her sight is fully restored to her. There is no cancer in her body. She is happy and full of eternal life. Cool.
I have really sucked at doing any sort of devotions lately. It's not that I don't WANT to read my bible. I actually do. I just really find it hard to read ANYTHING with Olivia around. She wants to read it too. And rip the pages. And she is such a mama's girl and I am not too inclined to change that. I LIKE having a mama's girl. Most of the time. Occasionally I would like a few minutes to myself but honestly I mostly love how affectionate she is with me. And she will only be this small for such a short period of time.
Perhaps I should get some sort of audio bible or find a bible with baby-proof pages. Then all I would have to worry about is my own level of concentration and ability to stay awake!
Which brings me back to my love of tea. I love tea.
My sweet friend Amanda sent me a gift this week. First let me tell you a bit about Amanda- she is a wonderful stay-at-home mommy to three beautiful kids. We met in bible school 12 years ago. Yep. 12. Wow. Anyway, we recently "found" each other again through the wonder that is facebook. Amanda has had a fair number of trials lately (check out her blog) but through it all she has managed to lose a TON of weight. I mean like 60 pounds. I am so very proud of her. She is inspiring me. So anyway, she sent me one of her exercise dvds that can be done in the privacy of your own home. Now all I have to do is wait til my hubby goes to work and my sons are at school, close all my curtains and lock my doors and put the dvd on and .... yep... exercise.
I hate exercise.
I mean I REALLY hate it.
Even when I was actually in shape (many many years ago) I hated exercise.
I find it embarrassing first of all... which is why doing it secretly is the way to go for me. I always hated being around women who were good at exercise when I was trying to get in shape. My self esteem isn't good enough to endure working out with slim, fit, women. Can't do it.
Anyway, my point is that I AM going to do it. Secretly when none of you are around so that if I fail miserably and fall flat on my fat arse there are no witnesses. And that way if I gain weight instead of lose it (like I did LAST time I embarked on an exercise mission) it will be less traumatic. Since I didn't get my hopes up anyway.
Pathetic I know. But when you are as emotional as I am it is best not to get your hopes too high. Remember, I DO have a dysfunctional thyroid that is slowly dying on me. I am also on some VERY necessary post partum depression medication which doesn't exactly make me gain weight but doesn't exactly help me lose it either. And to top it all of I have asthma. Which basically means every time I start to really get going on something I have to stop and take my inhaler. Love it.
Don't you just love how I list all the reasons why I CAN'T lose weight? Justification for failure just in case I fail spectacularly.
But you know... I HAVE lost weight before. When Owen was 2 I lost 35 pounds. Then I got pregnant with Olivia.
So I know I CAN do it. Eventually.
But for now I am just going to drink my tea. With cream and sugar in it. Because that is the way I like it. So there.