My Firstborn baby

My firstborn baby Aiden starts kindergarten tomorrow morning. I took this picture of him a couple minutes ago while he is sleeping peacefully. Up until this point I have been remarkably calm about my baby starting school... but I am suddenly, and rather unexpectedly, having a rush of nerves and emotion about the whole thing.

I really can't wait for him to start. I think he will have tons of fun and as I have mentioned before I trust his teacher implicitly. I have no problem whatsoever leaving Aiden in her very capable hands. But part of me just wants to protect him from all the "what if's" that school brings. You know, what if he hates school? What if he has trouble making friends? What if he bullies the other kids like he bullies his little brother? What if he is sad?

I want my baby to be happy and well liked and do well in school. I want him to LOVE going to school.

And I believe he will. Here I am learning to trust God again... ok God, take my baby boy, who really is not a baby at all anymore, and take care of him emotionally, physically, spiritually and intellectually.

I know it is silly to have this rush of nerves. He will be fine. We live a block from the school. His teacher is wonderful and a Christian to boot. Our town is miniature and no one is going to steal him from his classroom. Terrorists are very unlikely to bomb northeast Saskatchewan. There is no water nearby so there is no risk of floods. Even if we have a raging blizzard (unlikely, but possible here) he would be fine. Corrie won't let the other kids beat him up and hopefully won't let him beat up any other kids either. I won't forget to send his school supplies or his lunch. I have clean clothes for him to wear. He had a bath tonight and went to bed at a reasonable time. He is excited to go to school. Everything will be fine.

But it is definitely the start of a new era for me. It really doesn't seem that long ago that my Aiden was a colicky infant screaming at me for 12 hours a day. Even miserable days that seem to take forever at the time fly by.

Now don't get me wrong here, I am seriously excited for Aiden to be in school. 6 hours, every other school day, I will only have 2 kids at home. 2 quieter, less rambunctious kids. And to top off the bliss Owen will be in pre-kindergarten a few mornings a week starting on Sept. 11. ( I am choosing not to take that particular start date as any sort of bad sign). When both Aiden and Owen are in school I have the potential of having 2 entire mornings with just Olivia. 1 kid. Wow. I don't know what I will do with my time.

Wait. Yes I do. I plan to nap when Olivia does. I really crave sleep. Lots of blissful sleep.

But my sweet Aiden is a wonderful kid... it is just a little hard for people to see that sometimes because of his rather ADD-like behaviours. I desperately want people to genuinely like my little boy and to help him feel good about himself.

Ok. Enough of the nerves. I need to go to bed. And sleep. So I don't forget to pack juice in Aiden's lunch box tomorrow.

And here is my sweet Olivia doing her latest trick. Pulling herself to a stand on anything that will hold her weight.
And of course dumping out her brother's bowl of dry cheerios and then eating them off the living room floor. Don't worry... I'm sure cat hair, garden dirt, and other floor paraphernalia make cheerios the perfect sanitary baby snack.
And by the way, Olivia still has no teeth. None. I'm fine with that.

Not Much

Yesterday I spent most of the day (in my spare seconds that is) cutting out flannelgraph pieces. My hand hurts today. And I only managed to get ONE of the SEVEN sheets cut out. They really should pre-cut them in my opinion.

I am very excited for Aiden to start kindergarten tomorrow. I think he is excited too. I am just so thrilled with the teacher he has- she is a wonderful lady and I know she will be great with Aiden. It just takes all the stress out of your kid starting school when you know, like and trust the teacher before the year even starts! So thanks for being you Corrie!

Olivia still has no teeth. None. But she is drooling a lot. And chewing on her hands and everything else she can reach. Lots.

I have been reading a book that is really good... but one of those books you can only read a little bit at a time. It is "The Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer. My friend Becky loaned me the book... I should get it back to her sometime in the next century or so.

Anyway, one of the main points of the book (well, really THE main point) is that how we think affects our spiritual, mental, emotional and physical life. I realize that is obvious. But I personally find my thoughts to be very difficult to control most of the time. Which is where God comes in. I know. Obvious. But some of us are slower than others ok?

A day in Prince Albert

Yesterday we went school clothes and supplies shopping in Prince Albert. Prince Albert is our closest city and it is a little over an hour away. Anyway, you would think that we could find jeans for my sons there... but you would be wrong. Apparently there is a severe shortage of size 5 jeans in our area. Also there is a severe shortage of cute outfits for 9 month old baby girls. Basically the trip was a bust. But we did buy the school shoes so it wasn't entirely for naught.

In between stores we stopped at a park and let the boys run off some steam. Shockingly shopping is not their favourite activity.

Here is Olivia exploring the grass.
Here is Olivia trying to eat the grass. Yummy.
Here is Aiden working on his monkey bar skills. I can't believe my little boy is getting so big!
And here is Owen running up and down a hill- exploring.
Over all it was a good day... but the shopping was really frustrating.

And in case you were curious, Olivia just dumped an entire bag of cheerios all over my living room floor, Aiden dumped juice down the front of his new jammies that he is still wearing at 4 pm, and Owen drove his Micky Mouse car over the cheerios that Olivia dumped crushing them into the carpet.

I'm not kidding. All that happened in the 3 minutes I took to write this post.

Crazy Pastor's wife ranting

WARNING.... if you are easily offended by the truth you should not read this post.

I have some pastor's wife venting I have to do. SO if you happen to be reading this and you happen to attend our present church... relax. This is just something I go through every now and then and I will likely be over it by tomorrow. Try not to get offended.

I am just a tad bit frustrated by the fact that so much of my life's stability rests on how much other people LIKE my husband. I think the job of pastor is one of the few where you can be axed (or forced to resign) just because people don't FEEL you are doing your job to their satisfaction. Whether or not you actually ARE doing your job is not the point. It is far too FEELINGS based in my opinion. I mean, if Doug were a postal worker, or an engineer or something his job performance would be evaluated on the basis of his JOB not on whether he wears a baseball cap or can't understand everyone he comes across. I just really don't think people should expect their pastor to be perfect (or nearly perfect). I also don't think they should expect their pastor to be further along in his or her own spiritual life than he or she is. They are just people and they are learning too. I think it is ridiculous for people to be annoyed at my husband because he acts his age.

If you happen to be one of those people who find yourself uneasy or annoyed when your pastor doesn't appear perfect then GET OVER IT. NOW. It is unbiblical and hypocritical for pastor's to pretend they are perfect so stop making them feel guilty for being human. A pastor should not have to feel nervous about showing his imperfection. Churches are spouting a whole lot of rhetoric about wanting to be authentic and real but I have noticed that they only want that in some cases. If their pastor is too real then that is proof that he is not suitable for his post. If he admits he hasn't got it all figured out (from the pulpit no less) people assume he just hasn't prepared enough. Well let me tell you this people, no matter how much you prepare for a sermon you will NOT have everything figured out. And if you think you do you are wrong. It really is the height of arrogance to believe that we have the corner on truth here people. Only God can say He knows everything and Jesus was the only perfect human on earth. That's it.

And on an even more personal note I, as a pastor's wife, should not have to be continually tempted to worry about how people perceive my husband. I should not have to analyze what he says based on how I think other people will take it. My husband should have the right to be himself. Obviously he should be seeking God...but that is not because he is a pastor, that is because he is a Christian. Obviously he should be spending a significant amount of time in sermon preparation and other church related tasks because he is being paid to and because that is his calling. I'm not saying he doesn't have a responsibility to his congregation but I AM saying that his first responsibility is to GOD. Then to ME. Then to my KIDS. THEN and ONLY THEN to the congregation. And God, me, and our kids ALL want him to be comfortable being himself and to feel confident in his calling. So STOP putting him down.

Again, if you happen to be from our church and you are not someone who expects Doug to be perfect then great, just ignore this. And if you do happen to not like Doug right now DON'T tell me about it. I don't want to hear it. I don't tell you if I don't like your husband or if I don't think your husband is perfect.

And by the way, my husband is GREAT. He is a wonderful husband, a great dad and he loves God and he loves the church. He even loves the people who are mean to him. He treats our church with respect. He strives daily to listen to God and to do what God wants him to do. And honestly he is just a really nice guy.

So if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Magic

I just wanted to mention that I put a whole ton of pictures up on my facebook account so those of you who do facebook can see them there. I love facebook. And I am ok with that.

It is Sunday evening and ALL 3 of my children are asleep... I could clean my house or finish writing my sons' names on EACH INDIVIDUAL marker, crayon and pencil for school, or read an uplifting book... or I could waste time on the computer.

I would usually be reading a book right now in these brief moments of peace in my home... but I must admit I am finding it hard to move on after finishing the last Harry Potter book last week. What do I read now? I am attempting to read a Christian fiction book, by an author I normally enjoy... but there is a serious lack of magic in the book. And hey, I like magic. No, I don't think we should all rush out and buy broomsticks and cauldrons and wands but I do think it makes for a very engaging story. Like fairy tales. They aren't real either but you can't tell me you never thought how lovely it would be for Prince Charming to rescue you from the pit that is your life and make you beautiful, rich and happy for the rest of your life all in the blink of an eye. That is what makes a great story sometimes... how NOT realistic it is. I don't want to read a book about reality. I have enough reality. I personally think it would be very fun to be able to wave my magic wand and have my house clean itself and have my sons name magically appear on all his school supplies. I have also always wanted a fairy godmother.

I guess that is enough deep dark confessions from this pastor's wife for today.

Today was a good day

I made my husband try to take a few pictures of my sweet Olivia's CURLS on the back of her head. Granted, she does not have a lot of hair... but I am just so thrilled with the small amount she does have!I also took some pictures of Olivia and daddy this afternoon. I have said it before, and I will say it again- I love watching my husband with our children.


Today I found the FUNNIEST blog I have EVER read. Seriously hilarious. It is written by a stay-at-home mom of 6 kids. The blog is called because I said so . I laughed so hard my husband took a picture of me reading it....


This morning I cleaned my house.... well, I cleaned the living room and kitchen which is impressive if you are me. I have been trying to keep my floors debris and choking hazard free. This has been largely successful... other than the layer of toys and the occasional cheerio. But I did have a scare with Olivia today when I took the kids outside into our yard- she managed to pick up a paint chip off of our deck and she put it in her mouth and started gagging and crying. Poor kid. She's fine. But it scared me.

Olivia can crawl all over now, which is great but also means I have to pay REALLY close attention to her ALL the time. I sort of liked the stationary baby stage. But I must admit she looks especially cute crawling down our hallway starting at herself in the mirror. She can also pull herself to standing and practices that skill constantly throughout the day. Of course this often results in her falling over which she does NOT enjoy.


I don't know what happened to teething but the drooling seems to have tapered off. Of course she still is refusing to sleep for any length of time and she is super clingy and a tad on the whiny side ... but nary a tooth in that adorable mouth of hers. Who knows.


My precious son Owen, who is 3 turning 4 in October, helped me bake a peach pie today. Oh he was so cute and so proud of himself for helping. It was a really fun time together for he and I.
Here is a picture of Owen with his finished pie and some rice krispie treats they made with Grandma.

My husband took a bunch of pictures of us all today. My mom was here for the afternoon (by the way the bedbug situation is all done, her landlord fumigated the entire building and gutted the man's apartment where they started so all should be well now). Here is Aiden (who is 5 and starts kindergarten in less than a week!) and I...

Aiden and Olivia have a very sweet relationship developing. They are so cute together. Olivia's face just lights up every time she sees Aiden.
Here is Olivia staring at Owen and wondering what exactly he is doing...It is basically impossible to get a decent picture of my three kids all together at the same time but we gave it a go...

And here is my darling, well behaved, peaceful and quiet sons...
Here is Grandma Patricia and Olivia...
And Grandma with all three of my munchkins... Today was a really good day. I enjoyed my family. And as a point of interest the pie Owen and I made tasted very good.

Creative Kids

While Olivia (miraculously) napped this afternoon the boys painted. Here are some pictures of them and their creations. And yes, it was mid-afternoon, and yes, they are still in their jammies. What can I say? They're happy, why mess with it?

Notice how Owen sticks his tongue in his cheek when he is concentrating... he gets that from his daddy :)

Painting with brushes quickly turned to finger painting.


And here is a sampling of their artwork...
Of course they were both covered in paint so this is them getting cleaned up afterwards.Owen is being a monster in case you can't tell.

I love my kids creativity.

today

So as I have been mentioning over the past few days... Olivia is teething... harshly. My poor baby girl is not happy these days. And for some reason she is no longer a good sleeper. In fact, she doesn't really qualify as an ok sleeper anymore. Last night she got up 6 times between midnight and 6 am. I am not enjoying my nights. I did learn last night that my husband can sleep and snore loudly in spite of Olivia's screaming. Good to know. So here is Olivia and I. Notice the dark circles under my eyes and the paleness and poofy eyes on Olivia. That is from lack of sleep. Nice eh?
Now granted she still is adorable. And now she can pull herself up on things and she is starting to "walk" around furniture and stuff. Here she has just pulled herself up on my leg and is very proud of herself. Notice the complete lack of teeth in her mouth.
My sweet Aiden has been trying to be so good the last few days despite the fact that he is essentially being ignored. That is the downfall of being the oldest... the younger ones always seem to need more attention. Which really isn't true but there doesn't seem to be enough of me to go around these days.
This morning Aiden let Olivia play with him and his legos. I was so proud of him since sharing really isn't his strong point. She adores Aiden though- look at that smile!

And here is Mr. Shadow the kitty. He had his booster shots this week and the vet told my husband that he was impressed with how healthy Shadow is and how much he has grown since we got him. Good. I'm glad he is happy (Shadow I mean). He really has been an excellent addition to our family.

I feel really bad for my mom. She is spending the nights here now until her building is cleared. She had to go to her apartment this morning and put all her clothes and stuff in plastic bags and move all her furniture away from the walls - luckily she had help since she is 64 years old and very tiny and really shouldn't be moving furniture on her own! Her landlords completely gutted the apartment where the infestation started (just across the hall from my poor mom!). They are fumigating the whole building this afternoon. Mom has to take all of her clothes and bedding and towels and everything and wash them at our local laudrymat... which is very expensive... because she is worried about bringing bedbugs to our house! She even changes her clothes in our shed before coming into our house! My poor mom. And her cat (a senior citizen in cat years) is living in my husbands shop downstairs. She (the cat) hates our kitten and isn't too fond of kids either. Poor cat. She is old and really shouldn't be expected to put up with these kinds of inconveniences.

And wow, it is definitely fall here in northeast Saskatchewan. This morning we actually had to turn on our furnace. Brrr.

School starts for Aiden in one week. YAHOO!!!! Now all I have to do is buy him (and Owen) school shoes and label all of their stuff. In fact I have to write their names on each INDIVIDUAL marker and crayon ... that means I have to write on roughly 80 colouring utensils. Fun times for me.

Sippy Cups and bedbugs

Here are some cute pictures for you all. These first few are of Olivia trying to drink from a sippy cup.
Olivia moving on from the sippy cup to crawling around the living room.
You can't really see it but this next picture is of my two boys looking at a humming bird hovering outside my living room window. Seriously the bird just hovered in front of the boys for several minutes. It was pretty cool.
Olivia showing off her crawling skills.
Aiden and Owen decided to decorate themselves. Don't they look fabulous?
And here is Olivia interacting with Shadow the kitty. He is SO good with her. He never bites or scratches her even when she pulls at his ears and tail. He is such a good cat.

Here is Olivia at church "visiting" with Alex who is less than 1 week younger than Olivia. But bigger. Alex moves very quickly and has lots of teeth. And hair. But that is ok... Olivia will catch up in no time and I am definitely not in any hurry.

In other news my poor mother was informed by her landlord today that a couple of the other residents have bedbug infestations in their apartments. My mother is horrified. The entire building is being fumigated but if any get in her bed she has to throw it out. They even told her to be careful walking in the hallways because they could get on the cuffs of her pants and then transfer to other places, such as her car or our house. My poor mother is creeped out by bugs at the best of times, never mind bedbugs.

So you can all pray that we won't get bedbugs at our house... I already told God I just can't handle that right now!

And Olivia is still miserable. Poor Olivia. Poor me. I am so tired.

Sunflower

Here is a picture of the lovely sunflower that is growing in the planter on my front deck. I love it.

Thinking through my keyboard

While we were in Ottawa in July we had the opportunity to spend some quality time with my brother-in-law Dave and his lovely wife Julia. It was great. I really enjoyed catching up and getting to know them both better. Anyway, while we were visiting one day my sister-in-law was telling me about something she has been doing lately in her journey with God (which I won't go into details about) and it has been something I have been thinking about ever since.

Basically the idea was that we need to have faith and believe that God wants to give us good gifts... which is what it says in the Bible. I know this but somehow have a hard time believing it sometimes. Now I am not talking about a health and wealth gospel here which says that God wants us all to be rich and have no pain in life and if we don't have that perfect life it is because we have sin in our life. I do NOT believe that. I believe strongly that life is full of suffering, Jesus suffered on earth and so do we and through that suffering we are supposed to become more like Christ.

Anyway, the point is that I have been thinking about how I could put my small amount of faith into action and start truly believing God to fulfill his promises in my life. Julia really challenged me about it (unintentionally I'm sure). SO now how to go about it? I am toying with the idea of starting a sort of prayer journal... except with something visual to go along with it. I sort of see in pictures sometimes so it would help me to actually visualize what I am asking for. Of course since the things I'd be asking for are not all material it might be hard to find pictures... hmm.

The thing is it still feels sort of presumptuous of me to ask God for things and expect Him to give them to me. Like he is a genie or Santa Claus or something. And therein lies my struggle. What is the balance between believing that God actually loves us and wants to give good gifts to His children and believing that God wants us to have the so-called american dream and is there to fulfill our selfish desires?

And then of course there is the whole aspect of my brain that wonders if prayer actually helps anything. I tend to struggle between the idea of predestination (if God wants it to happen it will happen no matter what we do) and the idea that we can alter God's plans by our prayers. I know that there are examples of both in Scripture.

And to be perfectly honest there is a part of me, a very pessimistic part of me that sort of believes God is sort of out to get me... I mean in the sense that He is so busy trying to teach me things and make me into a better person that He is likely to actually NOT give me the things I want so I learn... patience, endurance, joy in suffering, compassion and all the rest.

So what to do.

The point is that if I really believe that God answers prayer and that God cares about us personally and wants to bless us... then I should actually put that belief into practice.

And thanks Julia for making me think.

Teething torture

Wow. I guess I have forgotten (or blocked out) how miserable teething is. Poor Olivia. She is really and truly miserable. Which perhaps is harder to handle because she is normally such an easy going baby. But I honestly feel so bad for her. And the poor kid throws up every time I try to give her tylenol! Her little eyes are all red and poofy from crying. Her nose is running constantly. She keeps stuffing her fingers in her mouth and then crying harder. Teething- the babies equivalent to torture. I even tried some oragel and that perhaps helped a tiny bit.

Needless to say I am not getting good sleep these days. Not at all.

I spent a good portion of the night last night walking and rocking Olivia. Then she cried so hard this morning that she managed to wake up her brothers before 6 am.

So I tried to give her some Infant Advil thinking maybe it would be easier on her tummy. Nope. She threw up all over me. Actually she threw up all over my last clean nightgown and the floor and herself. I guess I really have to do some laundry now.

We had thought about going to the city today to buy the boys their school shoes... but I think that will have to wait. There is no way I am carting poor Olivia around all day screaming. Not to mention the fact that it would likely be unwise for sleep deprived parents to drive anywhere. Falling asleep at the wheel is a bad thing... even in a place as flat as Saskatchewan.

I made myself some tea and a bagel about an hour ago. I am sure it is cold by now. But Olivia has given me a 15 or so minute break so I shall go attempt breakfast... cold or not I need sustenance! And caffeine.

Further along the road

Tonight a fellow pastor's wife came over for supper on her way through town. I must tell you all that sometimes it is so nice to talk with someone who GETS IT. Someone who is actually in the same position I am in (albeit with several years more experience). It is always nice to hear that other people go through the same nonsense that you are going through and have survived it. With joy. Not as a martyr but victoriously.

It helps that this particular lady is super down to earth and extremely intelligent all at the same time. So thanks Priscilla for an encouraging meal.

Priscilla reminded me of the need for "life giving words". It is so important for us all to realize the impact of our words on others and to take the opportunity to give life giving words instead of words that take away.

It is like I have always said- If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Words to live by people.

Skipping church

It is Sunday morning at 11:24am and unlike every other Sunday morning I am NOT at church. I decided to stay home this morning with my sick babies. Poor Olivia is just miserable and her little mouth feels hot to the touch, her nose won't stop running and she has a slight fever... darn teething. Owen spent the night with a fever and coughing. Aiden seems to be a tad bit better today but he spent the night grinding his teeth LOUDLY which I am guessing was caused by his aching head. Poor kids.

Needless to say I didn't get a whole lot of sleep. SO I recruited my mom to skip church this morning with me and help me out. I don't know what I would do without her these days!

My sunflower opened up this morning. So pretty. And all the birds are singing. It is a rather nice morning despite the rain. But then again, I don't mind rain. I'm from the BC coast... rain is a part of my very soul.

I am feeling a tad disillusioned these days. But I won't continue on that thread.

Our kitty Shadow managed to escape outside last night and didn't come home again until the neighbour brought him over this morning. Silly cat. I'm not sure where he spent the night but he was remarkably dry considering all the rain. Makes me wonder if the neighbours let him in. I hope not. I had a cat once when I was a kid- a big orange tabby cat that I had named "friend". The name is a bit on the ironic side considering he ditched me for a lady who lived down the street who fed him soft food and let him sleep on her bed. Fickle cat. Apparently he preferred that to me dressing him up and forcing him to lay down in my play baby crib. Some friend he turned out to be!

I have this good friend named Dale whom I have known since I was 14. He is married to a lovely lady named Abi and they live far away from me now. But when we were still in highschool he performed a crazy stunt that haunts me to this day. A whole group of us kids were walking through West Edmonton Mall (as we often did) and we were on the second level walking around the HUGE fake lake type thing in the middle of the mall. All of a sudden my friend Dale decided to jump from the second story railing into the water below. I almost had a heart attack right there. I am NOT a natural risk taker. And I really don't like watching others take crazy risks. The point is I was terrified that he would be seriously injured or something. But he wasn't. He got chased out of the mall by a security guard but he didn't even get caught. You may wonder why I am telling you all this... it is because I had yet another (of hundreds I'm sure) nightmare last night about this occasion. It traumatized me. Last night I dreamt that Dale kept jumping off high places and kept hurting himself. Sheesh. You'd think after 17 or so years the memory would fade enough to leave me in peace. But no. Dale, if you are reading this I would just like to point out that I was NOT being mellow dramatic those many years ago, it really did traumatize me.

Boys are dumb.

SO there.

Have I mentioned how tired I am?

I am so very tired.

Aiden is sick. He has a fever and a sore throat and was up most of the night.

Olivia is teething and not feeling well.

Doug is very tired, emotionally and physically.

I am seriously sleep deprived.

Owen seems fine though.

That is all I have to say for now.

Interesting tidbits of information

Well here are some interesting facts for you all:

1. The leaves on the trees in front of my house have already started to turn yellow... which means fall really is on its way. In August. Sheesh.

2. Olivia is crawling like crazy and crawling babies are much harder to watch than stationary babies.

3. Aiden starts kindergarten two weeks from today. Wow.

4. There is a sunflower growing in the planter on my front deck which I did not plant and it is poised to open directly facing me while I sit at this computer.

5. My husband is amazing. He let me go back to bed this morning because I was so tired and while I slept he cleaned up the kitchen. Nice.

6. Olivia is drooling everywhere and has a runny nose and refuses to sleep for any length of time... teething time has officially arrived.

Good bye again

We said good bye to our friends Glen & Colleen and their daughters this morning... it is always sad to say good bye to good friends. But we had fun while they were here. We went to the park yesterday afternoon and here are some pictures from our day.Colleen looking lovely. And here is a picture of us visiting while most of the kids were playing.

Mariah is practically a monkey on the monkey bars.
This is Abi looking cute.
Hopefully we will get to see them all again next summer when we head west for our vacation.

In other news I am almost sure Olivia is working on a tooth. She started drooling in earnest today and she is just not her normal agreeable self. I just hope it doesn't take too long. I forgot how much I dislike teething.