There is nothing like trying to find an outfit for church Sunday morning to make you realize just how much you hate your body.
Now normally I don't complain about my body too much... it just seems there is no point and my weight tends to go up and down depending on my thyroid medication anyway.
But there are certain things that I am finding rather frustrating right now. Last year - before my surprise pregnancy with Olivia- I had lost 35 pounds. I was really excited about that because it meant I could finally get back into normal sized clothes and an x-large actually fit me. It was thrilling not to have to shop in plus sizes.
But alas, I had only been in that state for a mere 2 months when I found out I was pregnant with Olivia.
Now don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to have Olivia. I would do it again ... not that it was planned but that isn't the point.
I am just frustrated because technically I am only 10 pounds heavier than my glorious state of last year. But my body has completely altered its shape. And not for the better. I feel fatter now than I did when I was 25 pounds heavier. Things don't fit right. Clothes look all wrong. And breastfeeding has completely altered my understanding of the word "perky".
Now some of you may be saying "but this is your third child. You should have expected this". But here is the thing... it is different! Apparently my body was ok with me destroying it twice with Aiden and Owen but with Olivia it said "no way, three is too many. I'm done. I'm heading south permanently."
And the real kicker is I weighed less the day before I gave birth to Olivia than I did before I lost my weight last year. But I look way heavier now. And that just sucks.
Which leads me to my main point. Why bother trying to lose weight anyway? It clearly makes no difference. I shall just resign myself to mommy tummy and fat clothes. Shopping in plus size stores isn't so bad. And Olivia is worth it.