Worry vs. Trust

Well, I successfully survived yesterday. My sons were unusually well behaved while our counsellor was here at our house. Olivia cried almost the entire time though. I spent most of the appointment walking and rocking and bouncing her. The counsellor focused mainly on my dear husband and even gave him some homework. I use the term "homework" loosely since he is supposed to go and get a professional massage, spend some time doing physical activity (which he loves to do), and spend time with his mentor. Rough eh? My only hope is that next appointment will be my turn and he will tell me I'm supposed to go and get a professional massage as homework. I could really use a massage.

I have started the process of pumping enough milk to feed Olivia for the two days when I take my thyroid test. I am finding it hard. Hard physically to get enough milk pumped. Hard emotionally because I don't really want to do it. All around hard. But I realized that I need to trust God for this too. He is more than able to keep Olivia from getting overly confused and refusing to go back to breastfeeding. I am praying it will all go smoothly and there will be no problems. I know, intellectually, that worry is useless and against God's plan for me but I am sure finding it hard to let it go.

I remember a professor of mine at Capernwray Bible school saying once that when we worry we are essentially telling God that we don't trust Him to do what is best for us in our lives. And so today I will focus on trusting that God does in fact know what He is doing and cares about me and my family - even something as small as breastfeeding issues.

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