I hate Sundays

In my last blog I said that I loved drama but not drama in real life. Well, real-life drama strikes again. I don't know if any other pastor's wives have found this but for me, Sundays are by far the worst days in our house. It's like everything that can go wrong does. And my kids go psycho. Honest to goodness psycho.

Now I have mentioned before that my boys are having some trouble adjusting to a new baby in the house and are on the angry side about having to share my attention with Olivia. I assumed, naively, that this would improve with time. Apparently not enough time has gone by yet and instead of improvement we get to go even further into our exploration of anger. Did I mention today is Sunday and the worst of it happened just before and during church? I hate that.

Just to give you a brief summary of what happened... Aiden and Owen started the morning at church by running from one end of the building to the other screaming at the top of their lungs. I said no. They ignored me. So I caged them in the toddler room so they couldn't run all over. They were mad. Aiden proceeded to make me a card (he's into making cards for people right now because of valentine's day) but he told me "this is NOT a love card, this is a mad-at-you card". SO he hands me this artwork creation and explains to me that it is a monster truck running me over so that I would be dead. I'm not kidding. I was a little shocked by his venom. Then he climbed into the toy box and chucked all the toys all over the room. Did I mention that I am breast-feeding Olivia during this entire exchange? So that rendered me useless. Plus I was stunned. They Owen picks up a toy and chucks it at another baby in the room and beans the poor kid in the forehead.

So now I am totally depressed about the state of my children and completely embarrassed. Ya, these are the pastor's kids. Aren't we doing a phenomenal job of parenting them?

Anyway, things did not get better and by the time we were gearing up to go home I had decided things have GOT to change. I'm done with the chaos. I remember seeing a Dr. Phil episode where this dreadful child was getting way out of control (kinda like mine) and the good Dr. told the parents to do "commando parenting" and take away all the kids toys and rewards and make him earn them back by being good. He said that toys etc are a privilege, not a right, and it won't kill a kid to have to earn the rewards.

So my poor husband walks into his office after church and I proceed to burst into tears and tell him my distress over the state of our children and that I want to take all their toys away since they don't deserve them anyway blah blah blah. Now you are all thinking "wow, this family needs the Supernanny". Yes. we do. I accept my complete failure at raising well behaved children.

Nonetheless I am determined to not leave them this way. Because I love them I don't want them to be this nasty. To me or to anyone else. Now I must point out that things were going pretty well before Olivia arrived and I do know that much of this is reaction to her arrival but just because they have a reason to act this way doesn't make it acceptable. Plus it really hurts my feelings. Aiden made me cry. I will say that all afternoon they both have been very loving and Aiden even made me a love card but the sting of the earlier hate card is still there.

By the way we did end up taking away almost all of their toys. They do have to earn them back. Plus they had way too much anyway, no kid needs that many toys. S0 there you have it folks. Parent of the year I am not.

Comments

the Doug said…
Please note that my poor wife has a tendency to overstate things. The kids are nuts to be certain, but she really is a tremendous mom. I for one am very proud of her. She'll likely disagree with me of course, but while I agree that this week the boys were on a path that would driven all of over the edge; they are doing fairly well with the lack of toys.
Sorry for the "husband" intrusion into my wife's blog, but I need to stick up for her, even when she's the one running herself down. ;-)
Cool Mama said…
Hi there! I don't think I've commented before, but thought I would this time. I'm a pastor's wife with 5 - yes count 'em 5 - kids! And it does get better. You actually need times like this, to make you stop and do course corrections. Our kids would go thru seasons like you discribed, I'd think I was a failure as a mother...and then when I'd stop long enough to 'be still', I'd ask God what He was trying to tell me, or what I could be doing differently, and He would always, always answer, loveingly, encouragingly and creatively! So..don't despair...don't be so hard on yourself - it gets better - the kids get better.It's all good!

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